Being the facebook queen that I am I often times have friends and family come to me expecting me to explain something to them about Facebook. Well yesterday we had to go back to Facebook basics with a friend of mine that is slightly Facebook impaired.
“What is a Poke?” He asked.
Me:” Its something that is really annoying. It is basically a person that wants attention and is saying: ‘Look at me.’”
Him: “What does two pokes mean.”
Me: “It means they want to screw you.”
He didn’t believe me. Sooooo……I decided to do a little research. I went to my own wall and looked at all of my pokes. Sure enough: 27 pokes; all from men. And then, being the Regis Philbin lover that I am, I decided to “Poll the Audience.” Here was the response:
OK, OK. So no one came right out and said that a double poke means they want to sleep with you but I am standing by my theory. My friend tried to rub it in my face that I was wrong about this since no one posted my theory as the meaning. ‘The truth is that you can’t handle the truth,’ well on Facebook anyways. 99.9% of people on Facebook are censored. Even myself, who people think has no FB censor actually refrains from putting things I would say in real life. I explained this to him and told him I was standing by my theory. It is correct, but no one was brave enough to come out and say it.
Well, I hate to say I told you so, but this morning I came to find out that my theory just might be dead on. Apparently the ‘double poke girl’ called him and the conversation was leaning in the ‘I want to sleep with you direction.’ Yup. I gotta start charging for this. I’ll be the very first therapist for facebook. We can regurgitate posts and I will tell you what they really mean. So, take a step into my office, lie on my couch, and I’ll do my very best not to poke you ;D