Pregnant Ladies Take Over Orange County

Maxine Swaddle

The” P” word! Very sad to say that this article is not about Penis but about pregnancy. I call it the “P” word because I really think that it is being used in a Loosey Goosey fashion lately. I just found out that the third girl in my close group of girlfriends in pregnant.  So…..whats a girl who's never been married and doesn't have kids to do when everything’s popping up babies in Orange County? Well, I have a few options: a) compensate for the prego ladies, or b) relate as best as I can c) joke about it. Compensate Sorry ladies. You can’t drink, you’re fat, you can’t travel, for the first time in your life you’re not excited to shop, and you now have to give up many of your favorite foods. Yup….it sucks. There’s no other way to say it. Time for me to … [Read more...]

Dental Spas in Orange County

There are few times that I am at a loss for words, however, I am not really a person to just sit there and ramble on.  I like to participate in conversation not dictate it.  I am sure you have all met a conversation dictator.  You know, when the only words you are able to get in is “uh-huh”, “I see”, and “oh really?” I typically despise people that are conversation dictators.  I guess it brings me back to my ex-step mom, who not only was a conversation dictator, but a complete liar as well, which is the absolute worse combo.  It was really cool that MY step mom was Superwomen’s stunt double, and was on the Olympic Ski Team, and was a screen play writer that wrote for Seinfeld.  And then I found out they were ALL lies.  Way to crush a kid’s dreams and send them to … [Read more...]

Girlfriend of The Year

Girlfriend of the year

I’m an amazing girlfriend.  OK, well technically I don’t officially have that title yet, but after what I did yesterday I should really just be granted the “Best Girl Friend of the Year” award without actually having to go through the whole awkward talk.  I actually thought maybe I would forget how to be a good girlfriend since it has been so long.  Just when I was about to order How to be a Good Girl Friend for Dummies on Amazon, and was contemplating over the box set that includes the instructional manual for born again virgins I was thrown smack dab into a girlfriend-esque situation and realized it’s kind of like riding a bike. He decided to take his parents to Vegas since they are here from Sweden and have never been before.  I actually did get the invite which I was … [Read more...]

Mulligan’s for Mama’s

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I am officially a golf lesson drop out for the umpteenth time and need to get back to my lessons.  I keep telling myself there are a million reasons why I need to learn to play, I take the lessons, but never actually get to the game.  Yesterday was the John Margolis golf tournament which is a tournament for the real estate industry in South Orange County.  Once again, I found myself not golfing….so as an attempt to motivate myself to actually get to a game I am writing the top reasons why women should golf. The clothes Is it strange that I envied The Girls Next Door when they put on their ‘sexy’ golf attire?  Golf attire goes beyond geekdom.  For any girl who missed the opportunity to go to Catholic school, this is your opportunity to put on an outfit, that is meant to be … [Read more...]

Products to Like on Facebook

Rogaine

Why do I love holidays?  Friends: yes.  Family: yes.  Good food and beverages: yes.  But let’s not forget the fact that I get to catch up on sex, trash and fashion via Cosmo, US Weekly, and Teen Vogue (gotta get my Bieber Fever fix).  This is where I get my real education. Take, for example, an ad that I learned a great deal from.  I was flipping through one of my many magazines, that I read from front to back, when I came across an ad for KY Jelly.  Surprised that this would be in a magazine?  Not if you’re reading Cosmo.  This is actually one of the 'G' rated pages.  What WAS surprising was the little piece of the ad that said: “Make sure you ‘like’ us on Facebook!” Oh dear.  I get the whole social media thing, I actually get a lot of business through social … [Read more...]

Laguna Niguel Bank Robbery

At 4:30 I was going home in Laguna Niguel and noticed several cop cars near the complex right near my house.  I thought maybe it was just another domestic dispute and didn’t think much of it.  A short while later helicopters began to circle the neighborhood.  Ruh Row! Let me get one thing straight.  I live in a very safe neighborhood.  So safe that many times I’ll leave my car running in the driveway.  So to hear helicopters in the middle of the day, or ever for that matter, is very strange.  I went out to the Starbucks off of Golden Lantern around 6:00 to go grab a coffee, and noticed more cop cars and loads of people.  I also noticed that the local Citi Bank was taped off with yellow tape, and several news trucks.  Holy doughnut holes Batman, our local bank had been … [Read more...]

You can be a Winner at the Game of Babs

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In case you haven't noticed it I am a very competitive person. I am 99.999999% sure the parental units are to blame for this one. Sorry Mom and Dad, but I think you missed the parenting class on giving A's for Effort. Anyways, typically, this competitiveness is a good thing, except when you start to take score against yourself because you have no one to compete with. So I know you were really bummed my Game of Life wasn't televised over the weekend, but here are the play by plays. Loss: Henna Tattoo gone bad My attempt of being funny fails miserably. If you missed last weeks post about Jennifer Anniston getting her dog's name tattooed on her foot, I was going to make fun of it by getting my dog's name put on my foot in Henna. I've never gotten a henna tattoo and didn't really know … [Read more...]

Mannequins Gone Awry

girl mannequins with jewelery

I was getting my hair done yesterday (Can I get an amen that I won't have white trash roots for the fourth of July weened?) and next to my hair place they were putting in a new store.  While I was overjoyed with my hair I was deeply disturbed by the mannequins in the window of the store. I had to take pictures.  It brought me back to a story at Family Classic Cars in San Juan Capistrano.  One of my clients wanted to set me up with this guy named Ray Drysdale that either owned the shop inside Classic Cars or was the manager (I don't really remember).  When I was introduced to Ray he gave me a tour of the store.  I must say that it was the most extensive tour of such a small space I have ever been given, and I have never seen a man so passionate about little things, one of which … [Read more...]

Jennifer Aniston Crazier than 5 Cat Lady

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Dear Jen, I was always on your side.  When the home wrecker came in with the blood around her neck, and you maintained your good girl image I rooted for you.  You are the girl next door, with the rockin body, who has managed to nail some of Hollywood's hottest men.  So, of course I am going to side with you over the girl who kisses her brother, even if I do have lip envy.  I have always been on your side..... until now.  I am now questioning how sane you really are, and now think there may be a reason why you can nail those hot men, but you can't keep em.  That reason is that you just may be crazier than the cat lady with 5 cats.  I learned yesterday that you tattooed your late dog's name (Norman). on your foot.  I posted about this on Facebook to see if I was the only one … [Read more...]